Sometimes you just need a little reminder of what is really important.
For the last week I have been obsessing over a problem. It is something that is truly frustrating. Something that my reaction to only made worse. So I have been obsessing about it. I have been worrying and complaining and thinking about it all the time. It has stopped me from writing, it has stopped me from talking to other people for fear of making things worse, it has just stopped me in my tracks. This thing has been eating me from the inside out.
Then this morning I saw something. It was one of those somewhat inspirational posters that you occasionally see on social media. No, it didn’t really inspire me so you don’t need to post tons of them to my stream so that I will not get like this again. But it did have an affect. What it did reminded me of something else. Someone else.
A few months ago I went to the funeral of a young man from work. I won’t go into all the details, you can look at the post (linked above) if you want to learn more. I remember thinking that I didn’t know he had issues. I didn’t know. I hadn’t really asked. Now it is too late.
Anyway, this is not a downer post I promise. What I wanted to say here, is that I had been so obsessed with this problem I pretty much had lost perspective. I have done things like this before and It has always led me down a self destructive path. Not that level of destructive but destructive none the less. I end up losing friends, and hurting feelings. Closing myself off from other people. Yeah it is bad.
The thing is that this problem was not that big of a deal. Yes, it is a big deal. Yes, it is something that I (we, my wife and I) need to work on but it should not be the center. There are far more important things that we need to work on. Sometimes it just takes one of those reminders to snap you out of it.
Because I don’t think that this can be said enough I am going to say it again. We all have our own problems. We all have our own faults. There things about our personalities that are going to anger other people. So What! Stop focusing on the things that make us different and focus on the things that make us the same.
If you see someone who seems to be wrapped up in their problems, talk to them. Ask some questions. Maybe try to get them to focus on something else so that they don’t spiral out of control. And if you think that they might be in pain, for Pete’s sake ask the hard questions.
I remember reading something at one point. I can’t tell you were it was from but it does not really matter. Here it is paraphrased.
All of us have the big things in life. They are a struggle to deal with. Sometimes you trip and fall getting over them, but usually when you have made it past those things you are stronger. (Exhausted, banged up a bit maybe even scarred, but stronger.) So it is not the the big things you have to worry about. It is the small things, the things that no one else can see, the things that happen everyday. You don’t have to fight to get past them so you just push on. But like grains of sand on a beach or mud getting caked on your shoes, each little bit slows you down a little more. Each step gets harder. Each Step wears you down a little more until you are stopped in your tracks, and that little thing, that thing you just pushed past barely realizing it was there, is now the size of a mountain. More than that, there are a whole range of them lined up in front of you. Remember when you are talking to someone that they could be staring down an entire mountain range of things that you might still think of as nothings, but they will likely need your help to get over them.
So If I have ignored you, or hurt you, been short with you or just out right rude to you lately I am sorry. I will try to do better. Thank you for being so patient with me.
That is all I wanted to say.